its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
