I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
