I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
