Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
