i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think i have two assholes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize