I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
