Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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