Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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