Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's great music for shaving your balls
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
