I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
