Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
