I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize