so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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