8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
