No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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