her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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