If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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