You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
