That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
