I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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