This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
