Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
