haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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