did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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