All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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