what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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