At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it because I queefed?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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