Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
