I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
