Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
