I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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