I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize