Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
