Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
