Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
