some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
