I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
