This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
