I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
