I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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