Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize