i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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