i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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