Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
