Do vagina's smell?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
