Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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