Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
