Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
God I need to hump something, right now.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
