this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
