he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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