I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
