Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
