I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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