remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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