It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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