I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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