So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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