her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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