idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
