Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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