i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
