we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
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Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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