i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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