They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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