yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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