Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
