Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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