I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
