Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
