if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
