I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
