Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize